When words fail me!

Rupert Kaye relives some of his worst encounters with computer spell-checkers, regrets the very existence of homophones, reflects on God as the Living Word, and registers his hope that, as Christians, we all might be better able to write, speak and live God's truth in every situation.

F7
I have long since learned that every letter or email I send needs to be thoroughly spell-checked before it is dispatched. However, a standard spell-check cannot save my blushes when I correctly spell the wrong word – if only it could! Don't get me wrong: of all the function keys on my laptop I use and appreciate the F7 key the most. But F7 does not alert me to “fro” when I mean “for”, or “form” when I mean “from” (or vice versa). Nor does F7 stop me writing “Dear Collages” or “Dear Colleges” when I mean “Dear Colleagues”. More than once I have written “Dear Fiends” when greeting the saints. “Dear Bother in Christ” is equally problematic.

I am wary of inviting people to contribute to our Association's “Prayer Dairy” (as I did in my editorial for the Summer 2004 edition of ACT Now) for fear that I may unwittingly launch a bovine intercessory ministry. Whenever this thought crosses my mind, I picture a sickly calf receiving the laying on of healing hands.

Homophones
And don't get me started on homophones! Yes, despite my best efforts I – a primary school teacher of ten years standing – have been known to muddle “there”, “they're” and “their”. The English language is littered with words that share the same sound but have quite different meanings. I once invited Christians in England to pray for Christians working in schools and colleges in “Whales”. (Even now, I cannot help but picture Jonah-esque educators teaching a school of fish inside the belly of a huge sea-dwelling mammal.)

On another occasion I directed ACT members to a meeting in Birmingham by asking them to drive along a stretch of “duel” carriageway – what was I thinking? (Had Stephen Spielberg's 1971 film really left such a lasting impression?)

Shoddy work
Then there are those times when the spell-checker wants to change a misspelled word. I have lost count of the number of times the computer has offered to change my jumbled typing to say that I work for the “Association of Croatian Teachers” or the “Association of Crustacean Teachers”. But that is not the worst of it! On more than one occasion, in my haste to send an email, I have accepted the suggested edit without question – only to later discover my folly.

For a time, I corresponded quite regularly with Professor Angela Thody at Lincoln University. Invariably the spell-checker would offer to change her name to “Toddy”, “Totty”, “Tatty”, “Potty”, “Dotty”, Toady” or “Shoddy”. Only once (to the best of my knowledge) did I begin with the fateful words: “Dear Professor Shoddy”.

Word of Life
Words matter a great deal. But, even at the best of times, words do not always allow me to express myself clearly. Sometimes, I struggle to communicate my thoughts, feelings, worries, concerns, dreams and aspirations. At other times words fail me completely and I am left with nothing to say. What can one say in response to awe-inspiring beauty or generous self-sacrifice, or when confronted with sudden tragedy and trauma?

I believe Christ is the Living Word who spoke all things into being. I believe God's Word is at one and the same time written (in the Bible), spoken (by teachers, preachers, apostles and prophets) and living (in the persons of God the Father, the Risen Christ and the Holy Spirit). Through God's Words, I pray that we all might be better able to write, speak and live God's truth in every situation… spell-checker permitting, of course!

Posted by Rupert Kaye, ACT Chief Executive, on 14 November 2005